Silly Poem: About English

Silly Poem

About English

Shakespeare wrote his name
in 6 different ways
some would say
that this is odd…
alas I say nay!

He was “borne”
at the “ende”
of the great
vowel shift
and spelling my “lovlies”
was quite hit or miss!

We think
of our spelling
as being fixed in stone…
yet ’tis a product of modern
like Webster and Co.

from the pre-dawn
of our language’s history
and not even the same
from region to region
as Grammar Gestapos
are likely to state!

If you’re born in the great United States
don’t bemoan your un English spelling
for my dear friends
it’s closer to the font
than the muck up
that the British
are using today…

And your “pronounciation”
which Wilde loved so to mock
is closer to Locke’s
than many have thought.

I love the great dialects
of the “Appilaki”
that Scotch-Irish
makes me quite happy!

And my sweet loving
dispise not all those
mid-western people
who’ll say “wa(r)sh”
when no r is
to be found.

Ah…the great 1800’s
so tried to
“enchain” us
with spelling
and phonics

If you are a grammarian
(Gestapo or no)
let me remind you
that our language is spoken
throughout this great world
by Aussies and Indians
and still more Chinese
than all of the Anglo-Saxons
Britons or Normans…
That have ever lived!

Now which English
is correct
please inform me now…
the British (with their regional
local dialects
that really abound),
the Irish or the Scotts,
Americans, Canadians, Australians,
New Zealanders or South Africans?
Not to mention Nigerians…
or other’s besides.

Now, if we had been the French…
what a different “affaire”
that really would be!
straight-jacketed their language
(poor thing, now barely alive)
since 1635!

Remember one thing,
if you don’t know it by now
That English thanks to French
very nearly ceased to exist.
The conquerors spoke one idiom
the plebs spoke another
until the Britons
lost Brittany
and thus became British!

So, study some history
of the language we
in all of the continents
before you
correct us…

For you may be
speaking and teaching
just your own
your correction of spelling
may make you look foolish!


14 thoughts on “Silly Poem: About English

    • Glad you liked it…I teach English as a second language…and am a horrible speller…basically because I’m fluent in Italian and French, live in Europe, where the British spelling is favoured (favored) and so alas…I make quite a mish-mash at times…


  1. Because I am an Asian, I tend to fluctuate from a spelling to another. Pronunciation is another thing to master because it largely depends on the local dialect. I can never speak like an English man and neither can I speak as swiftly as an American. I am at peace with the way I speak at least even though I sometimes do write favor and some other times, it becomes favour.
    Interesting poem. I certainly liked it. 🙂


    • I was born in the United States but left that country when I was very young and never returned except for a few brief visits. I also tend to switch from favor to favour without notice…which drives any one who edits me up a tree. I also tend to infiltrate Italian “similar” words into my English, example disinstall rather than uninstall…and sometimes my syntax is Italian as well. When I do go to visit family in the USA…my family tend to tease me for me “Talking like a damn Brit!” I do however become irritated with Grammar Gestapo types. Glad you liked it.


  2. I wish I had a correct spelling in both Swedish and English .. in Sweden they don’t have to spell right anymore in schools – what kind of nonsense is that ????!!!! – You’re so brilliant in use the word … and plenty of them too.


    • I was blessed with the gift of the gab…but over the years my spelling has suffered…so, now in Sweden they’ve put back the clocks and one can write the language as they like? Is this in Swedish or English?


      • I couldn’t say if they can write in English … but we have to learn English for 3 years at least … after that we can chose another language – but I think they have to spell write in English, but not in Swedish .. were is the sense in that. *smile


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