“Silly” Poem: Bastet’s Bad Spelling

I must be curséd with a malady

a dyslexy, hmm dyslexia of a sort

it’s not to do with “writing” words

my calligraphy is quite nice…

it’s not to do with reading

I’m reading all the time

and I can read things out-loud,

even with very strange rhyme…

no my friends I’m d(i)ysorthographic

and it’s plane (ah, thanks, plain) for all to see…

as I’ve learned from sad exp(i)erience…

when I haven’t done my editing…uh…hmmm.

Now it could be that I’m a reble (el)

rebelling against structures,

it might be because I’m polylinguistic

but I’m afraid that’s not the case…

When I was just a kid in school

I loved those spelling bees…

the harder were the words to learn

the happier I’d be…

but then one haunted day it happened

with the simplest word you see,

 I couldn’t convince my silly brain

to write of with an “f” instead of with a “v”!

Whatever is the problem

all I’ve got to say, is this: I’m glad

I live in this glorious age

of cyberspace and speller’s (damn!) aid(e)s!

For, strangely, I know when I will err

(nope this time it isn’t air or ere!)

hurray!  for me…hmm anyway…

I just go and look it up.

Thanks for thinking I make just typos

you’re so kind hide my shame…

but the fact is if I’m not cautious

I’ll make errors all the same.

This problem I’ve found truly exists…some say it’s rare.  I’d be surprised though if many poor English mother-tongue speakers aren’t diagnosed with the problem in the future and given some pill to “cure” it.

English is one of the most horribly UN-phonetic languages in the world…there are over 40 phonemes in English many which have no corr(i)espondence to the letter structure. Unlike, for example, Italian which is almost completely phonetic (and dysorthography is virtually unknown) and has about 28 phonemes (they have 21 letters in the alphabet and recently because of English have added the 5 which were missing and use them for the foreig(h)n based words)…the sounds corr(i)espond to the letter that represent the sound with very few exceptions…which does nothing for me, because sometimes I don’t hear those sounds…ex. doubles.

The real bummer is when I comment… 😦 … writing the post, I edit, but damn, when you comment, it’s like being one on one and I forget to check…alas…sigh!

20 thoughts on ““Silly” Poem: Bastet’s Bad Spelling

  1. Great poem, Georgia! English is certainly cruel with all those phonemes! One think I love about Spanish is the lack of such nonsense. Even if I don’t know the meaning of a word in Spanish, I can pronounce it perfectly – which also gets me in trouble sometimes. 🙂


    • 🙂 know what you mean…Italian is the same way…I could read it in next to no time…took some years of perfection in order to learn how to speak it, but I do have problems at times with the genders…hard to decide if a table is masculine or feminine! Chose a bad example as it can be both…but I’m sure you know what I mean.


      • I do. Gender is a challenge in Spanish too. Of course, where I’m the most rusty is verb tenses. Since I don’t get to practice much, it takes a few days of immersion before I feel comfortable again.


  2. I can relate to this as spelling for some words seem to trip me up every time no matter how frequently I use them. loved the poem…


  3. Even with dysorthography, your spelling is better than a lot of native English speakers. I love the way you wrote this poem. You don’t take yourself too seriously which is the sign of a humble and good-natured spirit.


    • Even if oscar Wilde might not agree, since I was born and raised in that country on your southern border and lived there for 18 years, so, I am a native speaker. It’s just that the remaining 43 years I’ve lived mostly in Italy and speak that language constantly, except when I teach my English Conversation lessons. Sloppy spelling is such a bother! 🙂


    • I read this and wondered what I should think about…and remembered a friend who once said: I leave the thinking to horses and asses…’cause the have big heads! funny how a poem about typos and bad spelling plays tricks on us! 😀


        • Totally understadable…that happens to me all the time on my netbook…better than an iPhone but still when I’m sitting in my easy chair, I do make a lot of typos!


          • true confession: I’m a TERRIBLE speller! You’re right about English being so confounded counter-intuitive! She’s a woman of the streets, I tell you! 😉


          • That she is…loved Bill Bryson’s book Mother Tongue…reconsiled me a lot with the old bat (English of course).


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