I like Japanese poetry…guess you all know that by now. I like the essentialness of the form. So, I went to look up other types of Japanese poetry to see if there might be something more to learn!
I came across a great site which I’m enjoying very much, and I thought I’d try some of these different forms. And would prompt you to do so also!
This one will be in the Choka or the long poem form and is the most classical of the Choka forms…I will be following the form used by Teagan…it’s a group of 5-7-7-5-7-7-5-5-7.
there is no freedom
escaping from my cocoon
I must seek you once again
I am drawn to you
like a moth to a candle
circling nearer and nearer
the deadly flame calls
now my wings are scorched
why must my nature be so?
sandbox in the park
kids building fragile castles
others make a lovely cake
someone starts a fight
sand goes flying in the air
mothers quickly intervene
the children laughing
seem only to say
mothers should learn how to play!
very nicely done 🙂
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The first one made me sad, and the second one made me smile. Your writing evokes such wonderfully diverse emotions.
The first one was froma a master not I…I just play in sandboxes making fragile castles.
I actually preferred the sandbox one. 🙂
Me too…never like mushy stuff myself. 😉
And will you too try a Choka for me? I show you photos of lovely maple flavored beaver tales that Canadian Travel Bugs sent to me! 😉
For your eyes only:
You want me to stray
Outside of my comfort zone
Where wandering seems thorny
With unsteady feet.
I’m afraid I will get lost
In foreign territory
Which is why I cling
To paths well trodden,
If by no one else but me.
Alas my dear friend
why do you so hesitate
your talent is so clearly great
that you need no comfort
from pathways too familiar
find your wings and fly
even though a kitty
what a pity if you don’t
If kitties could fly
It would be raining all day
With long feathers and cat hair
And cause a big mess.
Skies would be a battlefield
Once contained upon the ground,
And respite for birds
In freedom of flight
Would be clipped by kitty claws.
but indeed the mice
have wings to fly and we cats
are more important then bats…
fur balls falling down
on unwary passersby
could be a bit serious
then there’s the birds
to be considered
wisdom is that kitty’s walk!
Now you should post this on your blog! 😉
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Nice one… if only we could get some of those mothers to intercede when politicians play their sandbox games….I tacked a Choka onto my story for the We Drink Short Story Prompt… too many prompts too little time… lol
I loved what you did…doesn’t sound like a tack on at all…and I agree THOSE kids need some discipline!
Yep. I’ma have to try this.
😀 that would be lovely! I may have found my nitch.
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Here is my offering: http://lyricalfish.wordpress.com/2013/08/10/water-and-light-a-choka/
Thanks for sharing this beautiful form:)
Thanks for trying it! 🙂