The First Time I Saw- Trifecta Challenge 100

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The first time I saw,
Your eyes…
There was the void she’d left;
That dark cloud of grief,
Told me your Sun,
Now set,
Would ne’er rise at dawn.
Your smile…
Like a dead moon
Gives no light.

@)—>—>—

This is dedicated to a dear friend, who lost his wife some months ago and has since slowly gone down-hill in his grief, from one of the happiest men I’d ever met, he has withered to the shadow of who he was.

Written for Trifecta:  Trifextra100 Challenge:

“This week’s Trifextra challenge. This week we are asking you to count syllables. And words. It’s a lot of math for those of us who might be more accustomed to dealing with words, but we’re confident you can pull it off.

We are asking for a 33-word response to the following snippet:

The first time I saw. . .

Here’s the catch: all of your 33 words must be one syllable each. We’re going low-brow on your this week. Or not. Can you class it up under these restrictions? Give us your best.

To clarify, we are giving you 5 words. We want another 33 from you, for a grand total of 38.”

31 thoughts on “The First Time I Saw- Trifecta Challenge 100

  1. This is so beautifully sad. I love almost all except for the “dead” moon. Most moon’s light is reflected, and I’m guessing you’re trying to say that your friend’s light is gone. So maybe a reference to a dark side moon, no longer reflecting his sun? (I know you don’t go back and edit, but this is just so good that I’d love to see a fix…)

    Like

    • It was my pleasure linking up as usual..lovely prompts you have. I too hope he is able to move on and find some joy in his life, though at his age, I guess it’s just not simple.

      Like

  2. Not easy to say that a story of loss and grief is beautiful and lovely but, this is. When you write from the heart, your Love fuels your words and gives them an extraordinary power. This is, so obviously, the case here. Excellent, moving work! 🙂

    Like

  3. Sadly, I know that feeling you’ve reflected so well. The dead moon reflecting no light is just how it feels.
    Tell your friend it gets better, but it takes a very long time.

    Like

  4. Pingback: Just a Note – March 3, 2014 | Bastet and Sekhmet's Library

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