Grey Mums
Standing in the cold rain all day
Wishing there were another way
She felt no joy, no spark of life
Grey were the Mums cut with her knife
He slashed out and he meant to hurt
He made her fell as cheap as dirt
Another day of useless strife
Grey were the Mums cut with her knife
Jaded feelings under fall’s clouds
No sun could burn away those shrouds
She was e’er a dutiful wife …
Grey were the Mums cut with her knife
Standing in the cold rain all day
Grey were the Mums cut with her knife
§§§
The hearse wove through the city streets
The crowd looked on in dark defeat
Laid serene in her bed of wood
It seems no on had understood
Pneumonia took away her breath
Leading to her untimely death
The doctors did all that they could
It seems no one had understood
Satisfied by the mourners, he
Knowing that he’d walk away free …
Selling Mums in the rain she’d stood
It seems no on had understood
The hearse wove through the city streets
It seems no on had understood
§§§
Standing in the cold rain all day
Grey were the Mums cut with her knife …
The hearse wove through the city streets
It seems no on had understood.
Written for BJ’s Shadorma & Beyond – Mindlovesmisery’s Menagerie and The Sunday Whirl
Oh wow …. I thought you were going in one direction … and then you led us down a totally different road!!! Very nice — very clever! How well you do these!
So envious!!!!
LikeLike
lol … you know, I used the wordle words, then forgot to link to The Sunday Whirl! I’ve done it now … but it was like weird. Glad you liked it … I say, is it dark?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very dark! Starts out sounding like a personal commentary on a sad life — but then — it’s a murder? Oh dear. Murder by pneumonia ….!
LikeLike
Strange way to kill a person … I started out just writing the first stanza but it seemed to just hang there … so I figured I go on and see where it took me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you did! Very eerie! But a great read ….
LikeLike
Thanks …
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent form on this one. I loved it.
LikeLike
Thanks glad you enjoyed it!
LikeLike
What a tale you weaved…mums also reminded me of chrysanthemums and a song I listened to many years ago…dark but delicious
LikeLike
Chrysanthemums or mum are the flower used in cemeteries here in Italy .. and this time of the year the shops and cemeteries are full of the because of All Souls Day .. cool that the poem should remind you of an old song .. I’m trying to teach myself to write a little darker … at least sometimes 😉
LikeLike
Well woven and the twist is great!
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/
LikeLike
Thanks a lot! 🙂
LikeLike
Amazingly done!!
LikeLike
Thanks Vandana! 🙂
LikeLike
I think your choice of form was a tricky one, and you show your skill with rhyme so well.
LikeLike
Thanks Kerry, I like the challenge of forms they keep me on my toes 😉
LikeLike
This is dark. I like both the twist and the flow of the poem.
LikeLike
Thanks Justine … I’m not terrible good at writing dark … somehow there’s always a quirky bit of positive there. I’m pretty much pleased with this one.
LikeLike
I love the two poetic intertwined!! Beautiful tale of pathos!!
LikeLike
Thanks! The single kyrielle sonnet seemed truncated and forlorn so I decided to write a second to continue the tale, little knowing where it was going to go.
LikeLike