The Old Woman – Choka – December 3, 2014

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Choka

it is early dawn …
walking under the lamp lights
with only her thoughts
goes the old woman
fighting her insomnia
and her loneliness –
she visits her husband’s grave
or walks alone in the park –

the clock strikes half-four
the metal gate of her house
opens moaning
the ticking of her cane
fills the morning streets –
today mixed with cold rain,
the factory siren
calling morning workers
a lonely centaur
streaking down a street … roaring –

the first whiffs of smoke
fill the air mixed with rain drops
here on my loggia
I watch her passing slowly
every morning before dawn.

(c) G.s.k. ’14

Jen from Blog it or Lose it is Ghost Writer at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai … today she’s introduced the “film noir” genre … what is noir … here’s a few lines of explanation:

· Driving at night … in the rain;
· Dark, shadowy, smoky rooms with venetian blind shadows;
· People in trench coats standing alone in the fog … or on a pier … or in an alley … or a street corner … or in some sort of awkward, lonely, vulnerable position.

 

I’m afraid that I’m not much of a mystery writer … I’ve really got to be in a particular mood for that lovely genre … but I do observe the night … well let’s say the hours just before dawn … as most who follow my blog already know.  So I wrote a choka about the lady who passes under my house almost every morning – throughout the year, no matter what the weather.

 

 

20 thoughts on “The Old Woman – Choka – December 3, 2014

  1. Oh, the poor woman — I can hear her cane and sense the loneliness. And how neat to compare the factory siren to a centaur streaking down the street and roaring –!

    Awesome, Georgia — so well done.

    Like

  2. What a beautiful scene you paint here, with so many emotional possibilities briefly coming into focus before fading away again. The imagery and the pacing all work wonderfully, I think.

    Like

  3. I can hear this old woman as if it is a custom…a village hears every morning the tap tap tap of the cane…so many stories can come out of htis but I see this as un filme noir,with a very French flavour to it…

    Like

in shadows light - walking under weeping pines - spring rain

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