Crows and Hawks – Joseph Star – January 3, 2015

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAcrows
– flying high
over trees and snow
slowly the sun fades away
they own the winter skies
when spring returns –
another flies
– hawk

© G.s.k. ‘15

The Joseph’s Star was created by Christina R. Jussaume. It is a non-rhyming 8-line poem with a syllable count of 1/3/5/7/7/5/3/1. Please go visit  Mindlovesmsery’s Menagerie for the full post and a wonderful example of how this poem should be done!

18 thoughts on “Crows and Hawks – Joseph Star – January 3, 2015

  1. Very cool! The form works so well with your subject — or, your subject works so well with the form! Guess I’m saying that it appears seamless and effortless — you and I know better, of course — but it takes a lot of skill to get it to appear that way! Great job —

    Love the interaction of crows and hawks — fascinating stuff!

    Like

    • Thanks Paloma … in fact it did take a lot of work to get the shape right … I rewrote the poem several times until it came out right … and still have the variations as I wrote them in word 😉 … the hawk was part of the poem from the beginning it was just a question of how to balance the poem and shape it right … came from a conversation I had with my friend as we watched the crows fly overhead. We never see them like that once the winter is over.

      Like

      • Makes you wonder what the crows and hawks know that we don’t know! o.O

        Know what you mean about the shape — I changed the adjective in mine to make the diamond shape more obvious.

        But if you hadn’t told me, I would have thought the poem sprouted on the paper just the way you wrote it 😀

        Like

        • True .. I always go ahhhhh … reading people’s work esp yours and think, “darn just look at that .. fantastic .. the thing flows and is just so well balanced and that perfect symmetry” looks so effortless!

          Like

in shadows light - walking under weeping pines - spring rain

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.