Writing with Fuyuko Tomita – February 14, 2015

This month’s featured poet at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai is a Dutch poet  Fuyuko Tomita.

The goal of this CD-Special is to compose an all new haiku in the same sense, tone and spirit as the one given … so here is my attempt to compose an all new haiku in  the same spirit as the one by Fuyuko Tomita.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

street corner
an emptied street lamp
reflects cold dawn

an empty corner
under a light-less lamp-post
I greet the cold dawn

I turned the corner
an emptied street light
reflects the cold

© G.s.k. ‘15

This is her original poem:

Kantooka magatte shimatta magarikado

Under a cold
street lamp
I’ve just turned
the corner

© Fuyuko Tomita

28 thoughts on “Writing with Fuyuko Tomita – February 14, 2015

        • Nice to hear … you should write a line to Yves … I’m sure she’d be happy to hear it .. or if you like, let me have your e-mail address and I’ll send it to her. Would you only be available for Tale Weaving subs?

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          • my email is eclecticoddsnsods@gmail – very happy for you to give her my address. i go away in two weeks for 3 weeks to hospital at the pain management clinic, then back for a week before Easter hols and away for a week, so realiastically won’t be settled back properly in to things until after Easter. Thing is when you asked, i didn’t think to share it with someone, i just can’t really commit to doing something extra once a week, but could ‘possibly’ share something with someone else or help out ad hoc, what were you thinking? haha as long as it’s not Japanese poetry lol…sooooo not good at that.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Hi Justine … just read this .. was off line for most of yesterday … I’ll drop this along to our group leader, Yves and see what she has to say … it could be very useful to have someone who can step in from time to time … except for poetry of course 😉 thanks for the offer and hopefully you’ll be able to resolve your pain problems … so sorry you’ve been going through these problems! Hugs and thanks again!

            Liked by 1 person

  1. Very nicely done — a challenging prompt, too. A tough call, deciding which one is “best”! The second is most “technically” perfect — but there’s some unnameable quality in the third that really hits hard. Either way — BRAVA!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I found it challenging and I’m not sure if my response isn’t way off base … I think you’re right … the second is the best of the series. Fundamentally the third is a re-write of the first … I really should have read her poem again a few times … and I actually wrote quite a few before posting these three … but as I said, I don’t think I quite caught her meaning, I think I should have paid more attention to her breaks ….

      Like

in shadows light - walking under weeping pines - spring rain

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