Writing with Fuyuko Tomita – Tanka – February 20, 2015

 

さんさんとそそぐ朝日の文机に遺す未完の歌ぞ淋しき

Sansan to/ sosogu asahi no/fuzukue ni/ nokosu mikan no/ uta zo samishiki

How lonely I would be
left behind on my desk
an unfinished poem
in the glorious morning sun

© Fuyuko Tomita

“(Note that the Japanese version is in five lines – but – as she explained to Chèvrefeuille in a separate post – the English version is slightly different. She is translating her poem so as to keep the spirit of the original, more so than the structure of the original.)”

My attempt at using the author’s style:

in the morning sun
my words accompany me
each line of haiku
removes lonely shadows
like bright glorious sunshine

© G.s.k. ‘15

 

This weekend’s prompts at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai are being published by Paloma also known to us a Jen from Blog it or Lose it! and I’d like to give her a rousing cheer!  Thanks Paloma!

10 thoughts on “Writing with Fuyuko Tomita – Tanka – February 20, 2015

  1. Perfectly in tune to Tomita’s tanka — soft and positive and beautiful. I really like this — our poems do indeed comfort us 🙂

    And thanks for the kind encouragement – means a lot 🙂

    Like

in shadows light - walking under weeping pines - spring rain

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