Gardasee in spring
winds buffet this lonely gull
o’er cold choppy waves
© G.sk. ‘15
Today Chèvrefeuille add a new technique to writing haiku called baransu. What is Baransu?
‘baransu’ (associative balance), a new haiku writing technique which I dared creating myself. Than we had a few examples in which I have tried to explain this ‘baransu’- technique. I even tried my hand on the famous ‘frogpond’ haiku by Basho to re-form it in a ‘baransu’ haiku.
the old pond
a frog jumps into it
sound of water
© Basho (Tr. Chèvrefeuille)
I will start by re-producing the first line here: the old pond. What are the possibilities to associate on? I think “old” and “pond” will do. “Old” has to do with ‘classic’, ‘yesterday’, ‘age’, ‘a long time ago’. Which one can I use? I think I will try ‘yesterday’ to start creating the second line of this “baransu”-haiku.
‘yesterday … Irisses bloomed’ .. hm nice line, but what to use to associate on? In this line I can associate on ‘yesterday’. ‘Irisses’, and ‘bloomed’. ‘Yesterday’ has to do with time; ‘Irisses’ are purple mostly and ‘bloomed’ can mean ‘blossoming’ or ‘decay’ too. I will use ‘Irisses’ to associate on and than this line ‘pops-up’‘only a faint purple’.
Now I will bring the three lines together:
the old pond
yesterday … Irisses bloomed
only a faint purple
© Chèvrefeuille
I’m not sure that I did justice to the associative balance idea but it is an interesting concept to keep in mind!
Linked to Carpe Diem Haiku Kai – Writing Techniques #11 “baransu”
I have not visited CPHK today but I really like this haiga…the choppy waves gives une belle ambiance I feel with strong winds. Brava, cara!!
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Thanks dear girl … I’m not sure how to use the new technique but I’m happy you enjoyed the post!
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Beautiful balance in the haiga and the haiku — but here’s hoping the lonely gull finds that same balance and peace 🙂
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Ah … very deep interpretation of the haiga and haiku – thanks Jen. 🙂
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Very welcome 🙂
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Great post – your haiku, or haiga with the evocative picture really sends ripples of loneliness. In fact it aches and troubles me
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Well, I’m happy that you found the work great … but sorry about the aches and troubles … Thanks for reading and commenting!
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It was a very strong piece. Loneliness is the side effect of modern life I think.
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Sometimes … sometimes it’s a question of a period one’s passing through … or one’s character.
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Love this!(despite my faint suspicion that “o’er” is cheating…)
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not a bit … o’er is a proper English contraction 😉
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I pity the poor gull!
After Winter Rain
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I’m sure he soon found the flock not far away …
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Nicely written Georgia … it has become a great haiku …
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Thanks ever so much Chèvrefeuille … very encouraging!
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Bastet, such a lovely haiga and haiku. I, too, am really having to work hard at so many of the prompts. Spending lots of time much to my husband’s dismay at tiimes ; )
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Alas … know the problem of “husband’s dismay” … and I begin also to understand all the dedications in writers books to their spouses for their patience and support 😉 I’m really happy you enjoyed the haiga/haiku!
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