Wind Swept Beach – Haiga Festival – March 27, 2015

hawser haiku

on a windswept beach
lies a broken hawser – lost
a boat drifts freely

© G.s.k. ‘15

(The haiku is not the exact replica of the haiga’s ku – this was in order to create a classical 5-7-5 haiku for Recuerda mi Corezon … which did you prefer?)


Linked to Recuerda mi corazon


Carpe Diem Haiku Kai – Experience

21 thoughts on “Wind Swept Beach – Haiga Festival – March 27, 2015

  1. There are strengths to both versions 🙂
    In this case I prefer the 5/7/5 version because adding “lost” gives the haiku “punch” – and it seems to make you slow down a bit while you’re reading it. Does this help?


  2. I too, like the 5/7/5. The “lost” makes me wonder where the boat is drifting…alone, and ignites my imagination. The other just makes me think of flotsam washed ashore. Nice job!


  3. Both versions are wonderful Georgia, but I agree with Celestine (Reading Pleasure) that the first flows more and sounds smoother … I think “lost” in you second version adds nothing, it looks artificial because of the fact that you needed to write a classical 5-7-5 haiku.


  4. Hello Bastet, I like them both for they each convey different meanings… is it the boat that is lost? Or the rope lying broken upon the sand? Lovely words and image!


    • Thanks Lea … in the beginning it was a haiku of being freed … but going the 5-7-5 route for some reason I put lost instead of free … and who is lost … the boat, the poet or the rope … interesting question. Thanks for your great feedback, it really pins down some interesting points for me.


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