When my Dad passed away back in 2010, I was back home, here in Italy. I’d been back in the States during the month of September, the first time in thirty years. He’d been operated on and had his bladder removed. For a little while it looked as thought he had once again beat cancer and I enjoyed going around with him in the car and sitting with him next to his Japanese fish pond with its golden Buddha.
However, three days before I left, we discovered that that wasn’t the case.
He was back in hospital just before I left, we joked and laughed. He made light of his situation, though I think he was in pain and knew he was going to die, he hid it well. The day I had to leave I said: “Next time you’ll come and visit me in Italy!” and he replied: “You know, I don’t think I’ll be able to make that trip.”
All the family was around him when he passed away in December, except for me and my sister in Arizona. I was constantly in contact with my brother and sisters on Skype and when the moment came, it was almost like being there but not quite.
After years of living far away it’s like another long interval, like all those years before, for me he’s still alive, I just don’t know when I’ll see him again.
vigil without end
walking in memories
always vitally alive
© G.s.k. ‘15
Written for:
Carpe Diem Special #160 Lolly’s 2nd bedside vigilance
and linked to Your Golden Buddha
You have such fond memories, cara, of time you spent with him…treasure those…that is how he is in heaven…driving around and enjoying himself:)
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I’m pretty sure that’s what he’d be doing 🙂 Thanks dear.
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I didn’t believe or want to believe this until my mom passed and I could feel her. thinking back, I kept smelling cigarettes in my bedroom and kept complaining to my landlord about the smokers upstairs…he never smoked…my dad visited in weird ways.
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People like that are always with us — 🙂
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I agree … you’re so right – 🙂
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Oh, I got misty over this one…hard to find more words.
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Thanks … I’m just so glad I went back home when I did … I spent some quality time with him and don’t really remember him ever being very sick – unlike my siblings.
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Sounds like it worked out fairly well.
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Sad and powerful at the same tim, Bastet, I am very sorry for your loss, even though you can say it happened years ago. I think those we love and cherish never really leave us, as long as we take time to remember them and even bring them back to life for a moment by writing about them and recreating them with art.
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A poignant take, Georgia. 🙂
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Thanks …
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I can relate to this one. Because you were absent for so many years you cannot really believe he has passed. Lovely heartfelt haiku !
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Thanks Rall … and I think you are right about this … glad (?) you could relate.
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He *will* always be with you 🙂
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Yes, I think he will … he was the most positive influence in my teens (my step-father btw) and probably influenced who I am more than I realized … I discovered this when I went home in 2010 … we had a lot of things in common.
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I’m glad you had that visit in 2010 …. 🙂
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Me too … it was such a special trip …
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