How vibrant these colours seem
the red roof tiles glisten
the changing leaves are brighter
in the rain of this new day
the red roof tiles glisten
with intense rich ruddy tones
glazed in light and water
the changing leaves are brighter
nature, the great impressionist
creates her early autumn oeuvre
in the rain of this new day
pastel brush strokes blossom
in the tenuous light of dawn
© G.s.k. ‘15
The second stanza is my favorite…has a really good rhythm and feel as I speak it. The intense rich ruddy tones was my favorite line of that…the alliteration and then the pairing of intense and rich which has similar vowel sounds…I was just taken with the sound of it. And it was really cool to have the photo there and be able to go back and forth from poem to picture…helped me be in the moment.
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Thanks Anna .. I enjoyed this critique of the poem very much … fact is I write my poems without thinking much of what I’m writing, just following the sounds or the rhythm the comes while I write .. in this particular poem, I’d just looked out of my loggia and saw the rain falling on the rooftops and had a “feeling” and began to write. Anyway, I’m so happy when someone what it is they liked in a poem it helps me understand what I’m doing a little better, if that makes sense to you.
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ahhhhh— thank heaven for color !!!!!!!!!
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Amen … though I like black and white too … which brings to mind that I wanted to write a poem about that … mmmm.
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Can’t wait to read it.
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Absolutely gorgeous! And I really like “tenuous light of dawn”–great word, tenuous.
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Thanks … had to change it a few times to get the right word, so I’m reall ypleased you like it!
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Love it!
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I enjoyed your poem. The trimeric is acreative form, isn’t it?
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Yes, and I like it a lot!
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Oh, I’ve never tried this form. You executed it wonderful here with this piece. Just lovely!
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The photo, the trimeric … this is a gorgeous post 🙂
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Thanks Paloma … I didn’t have a lot of time to prepare anything … I’m tied up with the bi-annual “Reuse” day for which I volunteer … thank heavens it’s all over this afternoon at 2:00!
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You’ll have to keep us posted 🙂
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Asap …
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It is like a Troiku…I must try this…love each stanza especially the last one, lovely, caraL)
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Yep … thought the same thing when I saw it … only difference is the beginning line is like a title to the poem.
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