Shadows of the Night
shadows in the night
elongated – nameless
black wraiths walking
from alley to square – aware
of nothing but lamp lights
and the dampness
filters through the ancient walls
entering old bones
glancing through dirty windows
the city reverberates
dust and darkness
in an old city square – lost
a homeless kitten
ignored by passersby
but so are homeless people
black wraiths walking
nameless – elongated
shadows of the night
seeming – hidden as day breaks
yes – inside angry men’s hearts.
© G.s.k. ‘15
Image Credits: Nelson L “shadows will always follow us” CC BY 2.0
WOW wow wow, nice chain of tanka! (Though mine isn’t for this prompt, I have a chained tanka coming up at some point–pulled it out of cold storage–it’s an epic dragon poem.) I really like your take on the prompt–hoping to work on mine soon….
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Oh wow! I do so love dragons! And I happy you are enthusiastic about this chained tanka … I usually can’t write dark poetry … so I’m very pleased with this.
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You did it beautifully, Bastet. I’ll try to get my dragon one up by the weekend 🙂
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Sounds great … I haven’t even written anything for my blog today … I’m working on my haiku book and then went for a walk since the day was so beautifully inviting … great sunshine … and took some photos. Once i finish reading a few comments and posts, I hope to post something.
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Sounds like a lovely day, Bastet.
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Well, it actually was a lovely morning and not a bad afternoon and evening .. but of course the blog suffered a wee bit … such is life.
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Blogs will go on, or not–we all have lives to attend to and try to celebrate.
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True … very true.
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🙂
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Ooh … this is dark, excellent … and it makes me think of Owen (Lowell). Shudder….!
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Hmmm … As you know, I don’t usually write dark … can’t in fact. But this came out without even having to edit .. I think it was the image actually, very stimulating (either that or I have to think my inner peace is tottering). I don’t know Owen Lowell so I’ll Google. Ah .. I did try to Google, but nothing came up … or rather a bunch of stuff came up, but nothing that seemed relevant.
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Owen is the homeless guy I wrote about earlier (real name, Lowell). 🙂
Ya done good, m’lady 🙂
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Ah .. yes, now I remember and thanks Paloma!
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🙂
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This is dark, but nicely done…loved the chain…
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Thanks Maniparna … glad you enjoyed the read.
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Brilliant! You can’t write dark??
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No usually .. I start to write something dark and end up with a sort of happy ending …I feel like when I write something “dark” the write is forced or stilted … I was happy with this one though … it had a natural feel about it.
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You should be happy with this one, Georgia!
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Well … actually I usually am to tell the truth, except when I want to write something dark and eerie …
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No, I was just meaning you should be pleased with this one as a dark one..
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Ah .. I most certainly am happy about this! Who knows, maybe there is a crack in that particular cement block 😉
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😳
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This is absolutely amazing! On so many levels Georgia!
First – thanks for playing along with the prompt! 🙂
Then, thanks – I’ve just been introduced to a new poetic form in action – and it’s awesome!
And finally – wow – your inspiration has allowed for a wonderful interpretation of the image – with your own amazing insights and twists – and for being ‘condensed’ in form – you have so ultimately captured ambiance and settings, creating an incredibly haunting piece! What lines!
and the dampness
filters through the ancient walls
entering old bones
glancing through dirty windows
the city reverberates
That is a tanka / stanza that screams ideas and character … and the closing line – oh, what power!
Seriously, you make find this piece a bit “darker” than you normally write or would consider … but I think you have captured essence and history … I feel like I’m following the shadows in an ancient city where much blood has been spilled …. and yet, I don’t feel threatened …. so, personally, for me, I don’t feel the “darkness” … just a glimpse in a window in time.
At any rate – great job! 😀
Cheers ~ Pat
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Wow .. what a critique for which I’m very grateful. The tanka is one of the oldest forms of Japanese poetry … also known as waka – in the ancient epic poetry (choka) it was the closing stanza of a very long poem, having an extra 7 syllable line. It’s one of my favourite forms and allows one to be more articulate than with a haiku – chaining them together isn’t probably “kosher” but I like to chain haiku and tanka when I want to write about something in a more elaborate manner.
That said, you just confirmed what I’ve been saying all along .. I can’t really write dark. Horror, Gothic – hopelessness and deep desperation of dark just isn’t in me. I can talk ABOUT dark things … war, abandonment, history or as in this case the shadows of society … but that’s not dark … something transpires through my writing that just denies darkness .. sometimes I feel my verses are somehow too superficial … I can’t seem to get into the depths in order to really stimulate emotions. Even now, when I’m mourning the loss of my husband, I don’t have the desperation one needs to have in order to write really dark poetry. I guess that’s who I am .. and I’m good with that.
I’m very pleased you liked the poem … it will remain one of my favourites. I really enjoy the photos you’ve been putting up! They are stimulating, you’re doing a great job!
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I’m so sorry to hear that you are mourning the loss of your husband Georgia …. thoughts and prayers and light to you.
As for not being able to write “from a dark side” …. well listen, that’s totally cool. It seems ALL I can do is write from that place …. and it’s been that way for most of my life. The complete reverse of you. And believe me … I totally understand when you say that sometimes you feel like your verses are too superficial …. but are they really? No. But one thing to consider …. the poetry forms you enjoy the most …. are the ones that by their very nature are the most “controlled” at expressing emotions …. tanka … haiku … etc. are “brief” flashes of an experience …. through the “meditative process of distant observation” …. which is different than just sitting and writing from the heart …. in a sudden outburst of whatever emotions …. joy, bliss, peace, distraction, despair etc.
I struggle with haiku … the brevity … because I think “have I really captured something ‘essential’?”
But at the end of the day …. whether your muse and heart and writing sings of happiness and plays in whatever forms I would say that your words are never empty. And if you personally are working through your own challenges and pushing your writing, then who is to “judge?”
Thanks for the encouragement and compliments …. and I offer them back to you as well …. I don’t always play with the B&P …. but I have to say, you and Jen have really broadened my poetic horizons … and that’s always cool. 😀
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Thanks so much for all you’ve written here … and yes, it’s true that the form of poetry that I find myself more at home with are the Japanese waka, though I do like to play with the other forms as well and when the muse inspires have written many free verse, but it’s in the waka where my heart lies.
Thanks you again for your thoughtful and encouraging comment, it’s much appreciated! 🙂
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I remember an older gent, I believe was homeless (when I was working) and he had this routine – he would walk up and down the parking lot in the morning before the stores opened looking for change to buy a cup of coffee… He was always cheerful.
Though too many are ignored. Some in daylights shadows jump in your face demanding something. Those folks with an attitude can be scary…as they come from very dark places indeed.
Thank you – One family meal down… another to go – tomorrow.
BeeBee is coming along in snippets 🙂
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Know what you mean of course … and you’re right too … sometimes people bring their own shadows with them. Yikes – another family meal – bon apetite! Here’s to BeeBee ..and have a great day Jules.
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