
Photo and caption by Alessandra Meniconzi
along rocky trails
stumbling [grumbling] here I walk
rocks and shale skitters
under pines and spruce until
the sky opens – and stars fall
high over the Alps
like shooting stars in the clouds
the Alpine choughs fly
they swirl and caw their delight
as the veiled sun looks on
star-falling black choughs
© G.s.k. ‘16
This morning I saw this fantastic photograph thanks to the 55 plus special at Imaginary Garden with Real Toads (linked below) and fell in love, I then read this linked episode below by Chèvrefeuille of Carpe Diem Haiku Kai, where we were to paint with words our sensations of a photo we were to search out about “falling stars” – to me, these birds, the Alpine choughs which all hikers in the Alps see at one time or another reminded me of falling stars.
Carpe Diem Special #190 A trip along memory lane 1st CD Imagination
Indeed they are like falling stars – a wonderful thought
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🙂 thanks Bjorn
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This is lovely.
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Thanks you Marian.
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Kind of a reversal to have dark stars in day sky. Thanks. k.
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🙂 Glad you liked them.
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This is a really lovely combo of both prompts.
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Thanks … The hard part was getting the exact 55 word count! Glad you liked it.
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The perfect metaphor for these vivid creatures. I especially like the contrast you draw between the earthbound walker and their free and spectacular flight.
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Thanks, i didn’t even look further when I saw that photo, so really spectacular … and as I live in the foot-hills of the Alps I couldn’t really resist. Glad you enjoyed the poem.
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Nice one!
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Thanks.
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I like that the two merged and became one!
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Thanks glad you liked it .. I used the tanka a little like I’d use a cinquain or shadorma.
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excellent, as always!
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Wonderful!
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Love, spooky… esp. impressed by ‘stumbling [grumbling] here I walk’…’ until
the sky opens – and stars fall’ ~ really cool experiment!
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Thanks Humbird, I’m really pleased you enjoyed the piece 🙂
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The contrast of the earth-bound struggle with effortless flight is fantastic.
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Thanks Rommy! 🙂
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very smart words.
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Thanks.
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Both lovely — and shivery — at the same time!
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Odd … i didn’t mean for it to be shivery (you’re the second person to tell me so), but that’s cool too. Thanks Paloma!
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Very welcome 🙂
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They look like falling stars spilled from clouds…Love this piece!
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Thanks .. that’s what I thought too.
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The last line fills the mind with all kinds of delicious images…
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Thanks Magaly … glad to hear it!
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“star-falling black choughs” – a perfect ending to a splendid poem, such an image. Wow.
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Thanks … I’m very happy you enjoyed the poem 😉
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