Fior di Ciliegio – Tanka – January 17, 2016

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park bench

fior di ciliegio
dolcemente cade
sulla panchina
mite arrossimento
dell’innocenza

§

cherry blossom
gently falls
on a park bench
gentle blush
of innocence

© G.s.k. ‘16

Carpe Diem Vernacular #1 cherry blossom (kersenbloesem)

11 thoughts on “Fior di Ciliegio – Tanka – January 17, 2016”

  1. I SO want to hear you read this!!!
    If I am allowed to suggest a change or ask for an explanation of the double ‘gently’ – is that duplication intended? You don’t do it in your first language.
    line 2: floating down { or suchlike}

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    • Actually it wasn’t a double gently … dolcemente and mite are synonyms and both translate as gently for dolcemente and gentle for mite … but I was distracted this morning and could have used English synonyms as well … dolcemente also means sweetly for example but mite reads better as gentle rather than most other synonyms from which I could choose and I’m not really fond of the word “sweetly”.. Glad you liked the haiku. This is how it would read using the other synonyms … I like the original better though.

      cherry blossom
      sweetly falls
      on a park bench
      gentle blush
      of innocence

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      Reply ↓

    • Exactement!! 🙂 spring is love … first love, gentle love … and innocence. In the comments I used sweetly (dolcemente can be both sweetly and gently) because Joanna asked if I could translate it differently – thus avoiding to use the too forms of gentle but I don’t like sweetly, and can’t really tell you why. I must prefer my original although Chèvrefeuille also liked the modified version 😦 –

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in shadows light - walking under weeping pines - spring rain

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