new fallen snow
whitens the head
of the Great Buddha
© G.s.k. ‘16
Carpe Diem Special #193 Revise That Haiku … a trip along memory lane
Daibutsu no katahada no yuki toki ni keri
the snow has melted
on one shoulder
of the Great Buddha
© Shiki
As you all (maybe) know in this special feature the goal was to revise the given haiku and write/compose a new one. Not an easy task and it needs some courage to revise a haiku by one of the greatest five haiku-poets ever (Basho, Chiyo-Ni, Buson, Issa and Shiki), but … well it challenges you to look in a different way to the classical haiku.
Oh, the Buddha attains even more wisdom. Brilliant!
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LOL, I hadn’t thought of that .. but he certainly is keeping a cool head!
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brava, cara!!I love your haiku…classical with a hint of Issa humour 😉
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Thanks Oli … you catch my irreverence I see 😉
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Good to see you have straightened the GB out and balanced the snow, and you managed to stay close to the original spirit. Not esasy.
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LOL … Thanks Joanna .. no it isn’t easy writing like Shiki at all .. I much prefer the humour of Issa …
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Wonderful… 🙂
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I feel very reverential reading this and the original!
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This haiku was fairly unique I think … as you read it, you must remember that Shiki felt that haiku should be divorced from religion and linked firmly with nature. So he was actually talking about the physical aspect of the snow and perhaps unconsciously making a statement about the great Buddha.
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Isn’t that interesting! It connected naturally. Thanks!
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🙂 very welcome indeed!
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Love it!
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Very nice revision Georgia … it’s so close to the original, chapeau!
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Thanks you very much Chèvrefeuille .. a fine compliment indeed! 🙂
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hahaha, I like your revision. Buddha is indeed an old man with a white gray hair as you demonstrate with snow here. congrats!—Adjei
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Thanks Adjei! It was fun to see the great Buddha sitting in the snow with his white hair 😉
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