Morning Haiku and Waka – Basho’s Writing Techniques – March 6, 2016

swinging bridge
first one thinks of
meeting horses

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

“This haiku was written in autumn 1688 and is about a bridge in Kiso. The Kiso area was known for high quality horses raised there on August 15th it was the customary for the emperor to inspect his horses. All the horses from this district had to cross this bridge to go to Tokyo.

Due to his renga-writing skills. Basho was a master at making wild, wide leaps in the linking of the images in his poems. Today the haiku writing technique used by Basho is Leap Linkage.  In this haiku the linkage leap is so wide that a footnote of explanation for readers four centuries and thousands of miles away to follow it is needed. This is one of the problems of making an innovative or wide leap – how to get the reader’s mind to track it over the abyss without getting lost. The important point in creating with this technique is that the writer is Always totally aware of his or her truth. This is rare in haiku, because in haiku the poet needs the reader. Usually, if the reader thinks about the words long enough and deeply enough, he can find the author’s truth, or better still, a new one.” (CDHK)

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This is my attempt for the leap linkage technique:

On New Year’s day I was invited by a friend to go on a walk.  We climbed up a steep hill-side to a metal cross that over-looks the lower Sarca valley.  Being completely out of shape the only thing that kept me walking was the spectacular photographs that I’d have been able to take.  Unfortunately my camera’s batteries died after the third or fourth photo.  I admit to being terribly disappointed.  Later returning to her car at sunset I took a few photographs with my telephone. The above is one of them.

fenced in
a teasing purple sunset
New Year’s day

© G.s.k. ‘16

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(In Western haiku we learn that rhyme has no part of the form … which like many other rules of Western haiku has little to do with the reality of Japanese haiku. Let’s read what Chèvrefeuille tells you in this episode of CDHK dedicated to haiku writing techniques of Master Basho.)

nebu no ki no hagoshi mo itoe hoshi no kage

a silk tree
even through the leaves waery
of starlight

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

In the way of Basho

“Rhyme is a major component of Western poetry. In Japan most of the sound units (onji) are built on only five vowels, and rhyming occurs naturally. Yet, haiku translated into rhymed lines often need so much padding to make the rhyme work that the simplicity of the poem gets lost. However, if the reader takes the time to read the romaji version of the above haiku by Basho. one can see how often the old master employed the linkage of sound in his work. The rhyme, in the above haiku, occurs here with hagoshi(“through leaves”), hoshi (“star”), and the seven “oh” sounds.” (CDHK)

(So we must conclude that the problem is not writing rhyming haiku, but translating Japanese haiku which is often rhymed but untranslatable as a rhyming poem in western languages if we wish to keep the haiku poetic/aesthetic form.)

My attempt at haiku rhyme:

inside city walls
without stalls metal horses
line Padua’s malls

© G.s.k. ‘16

(As Chèvrefeuille would say, not  very strong haiku today … perhaps I’ll try these techniques sometime again in the future 😉 )

 

Carpe Diem #931 Bridge and Carpe Diem #932 silk tree

Hello!

As many might have remarked, I’ve not been as assiduously writing as I usually do.  This is not due to any lack of enthusiasm, but shoddy Internet.  It takes forever for a single page to come up on my browser if there is a connection at all, which is becoming terribly frustrating.  So this post will be in fact a response to two prompted themes bridge and silk tree from Carpe Diem Haiku Kai.