Narrowing The Focus – Haiku Writing Techniques – March 10, 2016

wet grass

wet grass

in the courtyard
under the persimmon tree
rain drops on grass

in Padua
the winter gardens glisten
icy rain drops

© G.s.k. ‘16


Carpe Diem #934 Onions

“a morning of snow
only the onions in the garden
blaze the trail

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold

This Haiku Writing Technique is called Narrowing The Focus and  was often  used by Yosa Buson (1716-1784)) because, he as an artist, a painter, was a very visual person. Basho and earlier poets were completely comfortable in using this haiku writing technique.
The above poem starts basically with a wide-angle lens on the world in the 1st line, then switches to a normal lens for the 2nd line and zooms in for a close up in the end. The technique sounds simple, and when done well it’s very effective in bringing the reader’s attention down to one basic element or fact of the haiku.

Other examples by Basho:

old village
not a house without
a persimmon tree

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

a grassy plain
the moon is a young sprout
from Pine Island seed

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)”

in shadows light - walking under weeping pines - spring rain

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