Samara Ennui – Haibun – November 6, 2018

 

I’m writing, doing what I’ve always dreamt of doing, I’m enthusiastic, I feel revitalized.  People are reading my work, liking it and giving me great suggestions that help me better my work, I feel part of a community … and then I don’t.

Sure, I’d had some bad moments recently in my life, but I kept up my writing and my photography kept on going but at a certain point, for no apparent reason, I found I hadn’t turned on my computer for months.  What happened?  Why did I stop?

I’ve always been a pretty creative sort of person, although not a creative genius.  Since I can remember I’ve always passed hours enjoying my painting, drawing and writing.  I easily pick up skills, I’m a quick study as they say, so I had no problems learning how to sew, crochet, sculpt, cook or whatever else came my way including learning anatomy and acupuncture meridians and points.  But, and there’s a big but, since puberty, I periodically go into more or less long periods of ennui.

I slip into a sort of limbo, where nothing seems very important to me at all.  I pass hours (days at a time) reading or watching TV series.  I do get out of bed because I abhor an unmade bed. I eat whatever is at hand (usually nothing particularly healthy) just as long as it’s quick and fills me up.  I don’t live in chaos, my house though not spotlessly clean is fairly orderly, I make sure of that because I hate being in a messy dirty place.  I drift through life, doing the minimum necessary to get through the day. Fortunately, as I’ve grown older, self-preservation has guaranteed that I keep a life-line open to the outside world.  I do have a couple of friends with whom I never lose contact with completely.

Then one day, something changes … I take a look at myself and my life and a tiny spark glitters.  It may take weeks or months but I become constantly more dissatisfied with drifting.  I realize that I’ve become overweight, that I haven’t done much of anything interesting for a long time, that I’m bored with my books and the TV.  I start looking into diets and exercise (just looking). I get the urge to write or sew myself a new outfit or paint a picture (just the urge).  I become frustrated and panicky. Then the looking around becomes watching what I eat and going for walks, joining a dance class and bicycling.  The urge becomes turning on the computer, looking through models for a new outfit, and choosing a great piece of material.  Usually at this point  my life has started to move again.

I don’t really know why this happens to me.  I’ve gone through analysis, I’ve meditated, I’ve had great mentors throughout my life who’ve stimulated me giving my life a sense of meaning … for a while anyway.  But eventually, there it is, the chasm of ennui into which I slip (not fall) and the cycle begins again. The drifting isn’t painful and I don’t even feel bored.  It’s when I move on, when I become aware that maybe there can be more to my life than books and TV,  the awakening, which is the painful part, fraught with anxiety and impatience to move on.

Have you or anyone you’ve known gone through this sort of thing?  I’d like to read about it, so please leave comments below and let me know.

winter snowflakes
passion gives way to
spring dawn
a never-ending cycle
my Samsara ennui

 

 

Harbingers of Change – Haibun – September 4, 2016

 

A colourful leaf fell past my window this evening, bright harbinger of change, awakening me to other signs that I should have noticed.  The silence of the empty swallow’s nest, the chicks have long gone but when did they fly away? There, listen carefully, do you hear the honking of passing geese overhead?

Autumn is boldly approaching leaving behind it the suffocating heat of summer. The seasons tumble one into another, each day passing quickly, soon the blackbird will sing in spring again!

leaf and bird
in winter and summer
harbingers of change

© Gsk ’16

Heeding Haiku With Chèvrefeuille August 31 2016 colorful leaves – Mindlovesmisery’s Menagerie

in the moonlight – Tan Renga – May 3, 2016

wisteria in moonlight by william.russell.1690

William Russell – Indulgy

 

 

in the moonlight
wisteria flowers look fragile –
a gust of wind

© Chèvrefeuille

ghostly tendrils trail
sweet perfume into the night

© G.s.k. ‘16

Carpe Diem Tan Renga Challenge Month May 3rd (3) ” in the moonlight”

5th Japan-Russia Haiku Contest : Guidelines (English Version)

For those who might be interested in participating in the English language section, please follow the link to the original post. Bastet

Akita International Haiku Network

英語版の募集要項を掲載いたします。

皆様のご応募を期待しています。

Here is a present from a Russian haiku poet.

A painting presented by a Russian haiku poet (2)

The 5th Japan-Russia Haiku Contest

 (Guidelines for Submission)

 April 30, 2016

Akita International Haiku Network

INTRODUCTION

In 2012, the 1st Japan -Russia Haiku Contest was launched with the help of JAPAN CENTER IN VLADIVOSTOK as one of the links with the cultural exchange between Japan and Russia, wishing to provide an opportunity to mutually share haiku related to the theme of “the sea” (The Sea of Japan) which connects Japan and Russia.

The organizer hoped that the contest would serve as an opportunity to deepen mutual understanding among people, to promote the interaction of people’s views on Japan and Russia, as well as to convey the enjoyment of reading or composing haiku.

The organizer also hoped that it would serve as an opportunity to strengthen and develop the sister city relationship between Akita and Vladivostok, as well as to…

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Monday Power Short – May 2, 2016

 

What happens when a young woman expecting a romantic holiday in an famous resort town winds up fishing at dawn.  Find out below:

The Romantic Mini-Holiday

Bobbing in the boat at dawn Mary yawned.  She remembered all his talk about a romantic mini holiday to Lake Garda.  She’d looked at the brochures he…

Read on …. Monday Power Short – May 2, 2016