Departures
you turn
looking sad
as the train arrives
tears
stand on your lashes
not wanting to fall
then I hear – All aboard!
lover’s
farewell kiss
one last long embrace
spring
will bring May flowers
for some – not them
he died on the front.
© G.s.k. ‘15
The Hungarian Badriomaku – syllable count of 2-3-5-1-5-4-5
I must really thank Paloma for sending me this link to Consciouscacophony post today, where I learnt a new form .. go and read C.C.’s post – stupendous!
Ai …. what an ending ….! Wow.
Glad you could work with the new form 🙂
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I actually prefer counting syllables to meter – though some of our MLMM readers shake their head in pity 😉
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LOL!!!! 😀
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🙂
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Ohhhh, I’m swooning over this. So much nicer than my dry humored ones. Very lovely…and nice to be back here!
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Ah … I read your piece and enjoyed it very much actually. And it’s nice to see you back again my dear Phoenix!
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Bless your heart, dear Bastet–maybe “Phoenix” should have been my user name.
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An insightful post , G !
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Thanks …
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Masterful – very nice use of the structure G:)
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Thanks Poetic Moose and many thanks for introducing it to everyone 🙂
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Glad to be of use – thank you for joining in G:)
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A real pleasure .. you’re doing a great job!
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Love what you did with this form….so very moving! I’m with you on the syllable thing…I much prefer that to meter, which I still don’t understand at all 😛
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Thanks C.C. … i admit that when I started writing poetry I did quite a few prompts that basically are syllable counts .. even a sonnet though you use meter is actually so many syllables … getting into meter is fun, but in my opinion if you have a sense of rhythm you can write a great sonnet and you’ll probably be using meter even if you just count the syllables … but that’s my opinion.
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I just wrote a sonnet but counted syllables….still don’t know anything about meter 😉 So, I’ll go with your opinion about rhythm…I like that opinion because it doesn’t require me to learn anything about meter! Ha. Thanks!!
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We did a piece awhile back on B&P about meter which would apply to the sonnet .. but frankly speaking besides keeping the Da da Da da Da da dum … or whatever in mind, I usually wind up counting syllables.
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Exactly!
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😉 but officially …
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