An Angel Doomed – Haiku/Shadorma – December 28, 2015

an angel doomed
no longer able to smile
flawed and broken

when did it happen
what dried up his compassion
where is he broken

where’s the flaw
which part is wanting
which note flat
he’s rigid
and he’s strict as a tombstone
his heart is frozen

can we thaw that heart
bring light where there’s darkness
the answer is no –

only he can find
hidden within his own soul
the need for change

© G.s.k. 15

 

(5) Words: | PART | STONE | FLAW | STRICT | NOTE |
The Secret Keeper’s Weekly Writing Prompt #17

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16 thoughts on “An Angel Doomed – Haiku/Shadorma – December 28, 2015

  1. A sad tale one hopes will eventually thaw the angel’s frozen heart. What a creative imagination and the great mix of centering the shadorma as a center piece for your haiku. I noticed all the 5 words took their place on the poetic stage most appropriately in telling the angel’s story. I like you ended in a hopeful place. A chance the angel, if able, will maybe someday find their way back to the warmth of life. – jk

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks you very much for such a lovely critique. I’ve tried often to write “dark” poetry etc. as it seems the thing now days to do, but I always wind up with a “hopeful” if not happy ending … so I’m very pleased you liked that. I enjoy this prompt very much and hope to follow you through 2016, which I also hope will be a great year for you! Georgia.

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      • I will look forward to more sharing. No reason Hope should be shut out. It does make life feel somehow more promising. I do write often on the Dark Side. I possess a touch of Poe and Ghosts can be fascinating. Besides no restrictions when being creative. The Muse approves highly of taking it to the edge and trusting beyond the edge one will return. Chances and boldness awaken the forces of imagination. Just write it out.- jk ps. Hope we have a great year. Focus on progress on different fronts. Listen to the quiet whispers. Write them down. We won’t remember them later. we really don’t. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Wait until new 5 Word Monday.

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          • Slept through Saturday but trying to take advantage of Sunday. So far peaceful and creative. I was able to do a painting. It’s quite unusual. I work in abstracts. so its interpretation is up to whomever looks upon it. I feel it goes well with a poem I am working on.

            Hope wish you a great New Year. 2016 feels like it is going to be overflowing with all sorts or mystery and joy. A good combination. Ciao! 🙂

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          • Nice to sleep in and I’m happy you had a great creative Sunday. I’ll be looking forward to seeing the painting with the poem! I certainly hope you’re right about 2016 .. it feels like a productive year already 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          • The sleep was due to mixing up night time meds with day time. Oops! I hope I’m right, too. I feel the productivity, also. Let it reign poems and chapters written and scenes that work and paintings being inspired. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          • Ah yes, mixing up the meds will do it every time … a day sleeping can be nice though every once in a while. Yes, the feeling is good. There’s lots of creative energy in the air!

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